Entry 3 of 3 · Admitted 1991 · Consulate Records
Diplomatic Immunity
Their last and tightest — a funk-punk band claiming sovereign immunity from a nation that isn't, playing faster than advisable. The title track is ninety seconds and legally actionable in spirit only.
- 01Extradite This2:35
The letter has not been produced. Delaine has said it was real and that he did not keep it.
Read the declaration
Got a letter with a seal on it Got a letter says appear Got a letter from a government That does not recognise us here Extradite this Extradite this You cannot send me back to somewhere You say does not exist Their whole case falls apart at step one Their whole case needs a map We have read the paperwork carefully We have found the gap It is not a defence, it is a technicality It is the best kind there is Come and get me. Bring a map. I will wait.
- 02The Consulate Is a Van3:00
The van is confirmed by all four members. The flag is confirmed by three.
Read the declaration
Eighty-one Econoline Two hundred thousand on it Bench seat, no radio And a flag somebody drew on it The consulate is a van The consulate is a van Wherever it is parked is the country The consulate is a van Sock sleeps in it. Chops will not. Thumbs drives because Thumbs drives. Mook rides shotgun with the map Of a place that is not on the map It died outside Barstow in July And for six hours the whole nation Was on the shoulder of the 15 With the hood up
- 03Parliament of One2:45
Delaine has described the song as procedural.
Read the declaration
Motion on the floor Motion carried Who seconded it Nobody. It carried. Parliament of one Parliament of one Debate concluded Parliament of one There is a beauty to a government Where the vote is always yes Ain't nobody being oppressed here There ain't nobody here to oppress Somebody is going to say that is not a parliament Somebody is going to say that is a guy Somebody is going to be technically correct And it is still going to carry
- 04Curfew (Ignored)2:20
The band played past curfew at every Austin venue that booked them, and was re-booked by all but one.
Read the declaration
City says eleven City has said eleven since eighty-four City has never once come down here To find out what eleven means to us Curfew — ignored Curfew — ignored Not defied, not protested Just ignored Defiance is a compliment Defiance says I heard you We did not hear you We were playing It is eleven-forty in the basement It is always eleven-forty in the basement Time is a municipal opinion And we are not municipal
- 05Last Legal Move2:50
No court record of any proceeding involving the band has been located. Delaine maintains the hearing occurred.
Read the declaration
Lawyer said we had one thing left Lawyer said it was not much Lawyer said the whole thing hinges On whether a country needs to be real Last legal move Last legal move We are going to lose this We are going to lose it loud Twelve years of maintaining a position Twelve years of next question Comes down to a room with a table in it And a man with a folder He asked me one more time where I was from Under oath, on the record, in the room And I said it And I said it the same way I always said it
- 06National Anthem (Unofficial)1:50
Played last at every show from 1987. Audiences learned the chant; the band never printed it.
Read the declaration
There are no words to this There have never been words to this Everybody knows it Nobody can sing it WHOA-OH-OH-OH WHOA-OH-OH-OH WHOA-OH-OH-OH That is it. That is the anthem. Crowd in Austin got it first Crowd in Denver got it wrong Crowd in Chicago made it faster And we kept the Chicago version WHOA-OH-OH-OH Stand up. WHOA-OH-OH-OH
- 07We Were Never Here3:30
The stain is the one described in "Riot in a Small Room" three years earlier. The room has since been demolished.
Read the declaration
Storage unit is a storage unit again Somebody's boxes in it now Guy who rents it does not know Does not need to know We were never here That is the official position We were never here And it was the best thing that ever happened Thumbs took a gig that pays in money Which is a thing that we should mention Nobody blamed her, nobody could She carried it for nine years There is no plaque. There is no reunion. There is a stain on a ceiling in a room Shaped like a place that is not real And it is still up there We were never here We were never here Ask anybody Nobody will remember And it happened
- 08Diplomatic Immunity1:30
Final track in the catalogue. The last two words are the answer Delaine gave to every question about the band's origin for nine years.
Read the declaration
IMMUNITY! IMMUNITY! You cannot touch me, I am a country! IMMUNITY! IMMUNITY! Technically! Technically! Diplomatic immunity Diplomatic immunity It has never once held up It has never once been tested Because nobody has ever been able to serve the papers NEXT QUESTION